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Couple Mirroring Exercise

Equipment: timer, a coin to toss


Mirroring with a timer is an effective way to practice really listening to your partner. It is especially helpful if you tend to interrupt each other during an argument. Start by flipping the coin to decide who goes first. Set the timer for 2 or 3 minutes. Plan a specific time period to do the exercise, 30 minutes is usually enough at first.

  1. Person A talks about the issue at hand without interruption until the timer goes off.

  2. Person B repeats back what he/she heard in as much detail as possible and checks to see if he/her heard correctly.

  3. If Person A says it was not correct he/she may make a very short correction and then Person B repeats it back again.

  4. Then Person B talks about whatever he/she wants until the timer goes off.

  5. Person A repeats back what he/she heard as above.

This tool can be used whenever a couple notices they are not listening or being listened to or they are interrupting each other during the conversation.

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