Listening without interrupting

Ask questions in order to really understand

Don’t take things personally

Show your partner empathy

Validate your partner (does not mean you agree)

Delay gratification

Understand your partner in light of partner’s history

Remember what you learn...

"Life long love is not like a wildflower; it requires cultivation"  William Doherty.

If you agree with at least three of these statements,  you may want to come in for a "tune up". If you agree with four or more, you are probably due for a "major service". Keep your coupleship running smoothly.

AGREE OR DISAGREE

• When my partner and I disagree we end...

1. Pay attention - put down your phone, make eye contact

2. Respond with your face – nod once in a while, smile, look concerned

3. Put aside judgments

4. Reflect back what you heard and check to be sure you got it right

5. Ask clarifying questions

6. Acknowl...

​
Equipment: two pens, two sheets of paper, a coin to toss
​Instructions:

Each member of the couple takes a pen and paper and writes down a list of everything they appreciate about their partner as quicky as possible. Do this privately for about 5 minutes or less.  Don'...

​

Equipment: timer, a coin to toss

Instructions:

Mirroring with a timer is an effective way to practice really listening to your partner. It is especially helpful if you tend to interrupt each other during an argument.  Start by flipping the coin to decide who goes first....